Without a Shirt
by Kohaku Minamoto
Summary: After his fight with Sniper, Yusuke realizes he no longer has a shirt and wonders how he is supposed to get another one before his fight with Sensui. Hiei is a pervert, Kurama is a prude, and Kuwabara is still kidnapped. Oneshot drabble, nonyaoi.


Well…this is stupid and my brother says no one's gonna read it. Who cares! I still don't get how Yusuke, who got his shirt ripped to shreds during his fight with Sniper, suddenly got a shirt in the next episode! Oh, just a note: I have NOTHING WHATSOEVER AGAINST GAYS!

**DISCLAIMER**: I do not own Yu Yu Hakusho.

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**Without a Shirt**

After his fight with Hiei, Yusuke realized that he was feeling just the slightest bit chilly. Then he remembered. Falling off the bicycle had efficiently ripped his shirt into nothing but little pieces of unwearable cloth. The Spirit Detective swore and sat down on the ground.

"This sucks!"

Hiei turned to look at him. "Did the human fool damage your brain?" he asked casually.

Yusuke gestured at his bare chest. "Would you look at this?"

"I'd rather not."

"That's not what I meant! That damned Sniper destroyed my shirt! Damn it, damn it, damn it!"

Hiei watched with mingled amusement and exasperation as the dark-haired teen stormed back and forth. "You've fought without a shirt in a lot of battles," the diminutive fire apparition pointed out. "Why does it bother you so much?"

"Well, all those other times I was basically fighting for my life, so I didn't really think about my shirt as much. And besides, in case you haven't noticed, shorty, it's freakin' cold!"

Hiei, being a fire demon, didn't notice the cold as much and didn't have much of a problem fighting without a shirt. In fact, he did it quite often. In fact, all of the male members of Team Urameshi did it quite often…except for Kurama. That prudish fox…

"Live with it." Hiei turned around. "You humans and your weak bodies…"

"Hey!" Yusuke had a sudden stroke of inspiration, looking at the unconscious Sniper lying a few feet away from him. "What if I steal his shirt?"

Hiei's eyebrows nearly disappeared into his hairline. "_What_?"

"Hey, it's not like it's a _crime_, is it? I mean, he's kinda not conscious, so…"

Hiei was about to state his thoughts about the ridiculousness of Yusuke's thought, when two demons came suddenly out of nowhere, demanding that Hiei and Yusuke show them 'where they kept their human flesh store and their women'. The two, in no mood to stand around and chatter with lustful/hungry demons, made quick work of them.

"Why the hell would you want to steal his shirt?"

"Why not? It looks like it would fit me…"

For some reason, Hiei found this statement disgusting. "That sounds…" He tried to remember what the humans said in these sorts of situations. "Homosexual."

"You mean gay?" Yusuke inquired.

"Yes, very."

"How so?"

Hiei nearly snorted in disbelief. Sometimes the detective could be so clueless… "You don't know what kind of dirty germs that amateur might be carrying around. Do you want to catch some human disease from him?"

Yusuke recoiled from Sniper's body as though hit in the stomach. "Ew!"

Of course, Sniper was, in reality, a rather well-groomed guy and probably would've been quite insulted to hear the two talking about him as though he was some kind of leper. But our two heroes didn't know that.

"Urgh…" Yusuke swiped feverishly at his body as though the mere thought of such germs made him sick already. "I didn't really need to hear that, Hiei."

"Then get over yourself and live without a shirt for a while."

"What if I don't want to?"

"Fine by me."

Yusuke scowled, then brightened when he had yet _another_ stroke of inspiration. "Hey! Wanna lend me your cloak for a while?"

Hiei actually tripped and fell flat on his face when he heard that. When he emerged, the Jaganshi was spluttering in anger – something that didn't usually happen. "What the hell are you blabbering about, detective! As if I would lend you anything of mine!"

Yusuke wrinkled his nose. "Geez…you could've just said no. Fine, I don't want your stupid cloak. Probably wouldn't fit me anyway…" He set off grumbling. "Let's hope that I can get a shirt from someone else…"

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Botan shook her head at Yusuke. "You've been running around without a shirt for _that_ long?"

The Spirit Detective shivered slightly and nodded.

"Man, you're starting to look blue," Yana speculated, squinting at Yusuke. The shorter teen frowned.

"Thanks a bunch."

"How do you propose getting a shirt in the middle of nowhere?" Kurama asked.

"I don't know, fox-boy. Wanna lend me yours?" Yusuke said, only half-jokingly. Yana and Botan both snorted, while Kurama had the grace to look at least mildly disgusted.

"Yusuke…"

"Chill. I'm just kidding." _Prudish fox…_

"We don't have time to fool around," Genkai interrupted. "Live without that particular article of clothing, dimwit. It's not as if you have anything to be ashamed of…"

"Huh? What's that supposed to mean?"

"I mean that you're not a girl."

"Oh…"

"Because you're nowhere near as smart as one."

"Hey!"

"Where's shorty?" Yana asked suddenly, looking around.

"Aw, don't tell me Hiei ditched us _again_," Yusuke groaned, searching the road. There was no sign of the fire apparition.

"That's Hiei for you," Botan sighed. "Always running off and leaving his teammates behind. Sometimes I think he's just scared – "

"What was that you said, girl?" a menacing voice said right next to her ear. The blue-haired young woman jumped.

"A-ah, Hiei! I…uh, didn't say anything!"

The short, but dangerous, demon glared for a moment, then tossed something white at Yusuke. The Spirit Detective caught it, then stared down at it with some incredulity. "A shirt?"

"I got tired of your whining."

Yusuke slipped the shirt over his head, finding that it fit reasonably well. "Hey, thanks, Hiei. You know, you can be pretty decent when you want to be."

It wasn't until later that it occurred to Yusuke to ask Hiei where the shirt had come from.

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Somewhere else… 

"What the hell? That kid just stole my shirt! Bastard!"

A poor girl was left without a shirt on the streets. Ah, Hiei, I suppose you have male tendencies just like Yusuke…

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Uh, yeah…sorry. This is stupid. Review anyway, or else I'll tell Hiei to steal your shirts!


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